Spring was so slow to get here that when it finally came, we clapped and did cartwheels.
Oh, we were happy for days with sunshine and warmer temperatures.
And then my nemesis – the black fly – came out in full force. Tried to wreck spring.
Swatting flies, I caught sight of the yard. Spirits plunged. There was just So Much Work.
I suddenly felt depressed. I couldn’t do it all. I just wanted to hibernate another winter.Every garden bed was covered with winter yuck, dead leaves and sticks. Weeds were threatening to take over the home land.
Instantly, I felt guilty. Me, who just weeks earlier was wishing for spring.
Babies, families, habits, novels, dreams, exercise goals, eating regimes, household management…everything starts messy. And is really hard.
It just so happens, I started reading a book called, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. Pressfield talks Resistance. Resistance is your adversary. It’s all the doubts, fears, you can’t do it, it’s too hard moments.
Resistance is not your friend. It keeps you from doing what God put you on the earth to do.
I may or may not have been put on earth to be a farmer, but it was the next right thing. Because I want vegetables this summer.
So I made myself go outside with a bucket full of seeds. And I planted something.
And it’s still messy.
But did you also know, that chicken poo is such a fantastic fertilizer that they sell it in 25 lb. bags? Mmm hmmm.
Perhaps a little mess is how the best things grow.
When the seeds were finally in, I fainted from exhaustion. Or maybe it was all the black flies sucking my blood. Either way, I was down for the count. Down on the grass. And I saw these small, white flowers. Hundreds and hundreds of beautiful white petals. They only bloom for about a week. And then they are gone. Easy to miss unless you’re knocked over on a field of weeds.
And years ago, I couldn’t get asparagus to grow. Mad, I gave up. But something must have been done right because Gregor told me to go look on the other side of the hill. There, on a neglected patch of grass was hundreds and hundreds of asparagus.
Take that, Resistance! (Want to come over for lunch?)
I’m going to call them my beautiful bouquet of resistance.
And isn’t it the truth that these children I get the great privilege of raising are also my biggest messers…which makes me ponder why we think that everything in life has to be so perfect, orderly, and tied up with a bow?
I’m going to stop making my bed!
These eggs from the most messy creature on the planet lays a perfect food every single day! Believe me, they don’t come out looking so pristine. I won’t tell you what analogy my son likened that too this morning, but you know…ow. wow.
Everything starts messy.
Especially the things worth anything.
The time is now. Get your hands dirty. Get messy. Make mistakes. Start again. Grow 🙂