1. Sometimes I feel like we’re all in different reality shows, rushing from one reality to the other, furiously making comments so other reality shows will come comment on our reality. When in reality, it’s not reality at all but rather scripted. Just like reality shows! Does that make any sense?
2. Because when you have a blog, you look at other blogs and there is always a better blog. There is always better content or better pictures or better…
3. Comparison will always, always make you feel insecure.
4. Because many successful blogs are based on or caught the world’s attention because of something unfortunate like a child’s death or an illness or addiction or a terrible hardship. And my life is soooo normal. Hello??? Shake me, please. Normal is greatly underrated.
5. I love comments way too much and when one post gets a lot of comments and another one doesn’t I start freaking out.
6. I get mad when I freak out. It’s a blog, not poverty or Rwanda or a presidential election. No, it’s really not that significant.
7. I get jealous of other people. Now, most of the time I’m a pretty content and positive person, but someone else’s success can trick me into feeling discontent…why does she get 130 comments? It’s a post on her hair!
8. And then I’m annoyed because I actually watched the 8 minute video on how she did her hair.
9. Because I’ll never be able to do a post on how to organize your garage. Or how to decorate your living room. Or how to write the next great American novel. I’m just not that person. And sometimes I want to be.
10. Because I know someone else’s success does not diminish me. It actually has nothing to do with me at all. And yet I allow myself to feel that way.
11. SEO. Monetizing. Keywords. Tags. Guest posts. Social media links. And on. And on. Please help me crawl into a cave.
12. Time. Time. Time.
13. Everything I do gets turned around in my brain and into, that would be a great blog post!
14. Because sometimes I’m chasing something that’s never going to satisfy me. I’m seeking the praise of the world and if I know anything, I know this: The praise of the world will never satisfy. It’s never enough, will never fill the holes of insecurity or the needs a person innately craves. And if tomorrow my blog got a million hits, I’d ride the high for a few days and then I’d be exactly the same person I was before. Because nothing changed inside of me.
It reminds me of the movie, Rudy. Remember when he was feeling knocked down, after he had given everything and it still wasn’t good enough? That he was never ever going to get on that Notre Dame football field? Fortune glares at him and says,
You’re 5 foot nothin’, 100 and nothin’, and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you’re gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don’t have to prove nothin’ to nobody but yourself. And after what you’ve gone through, if you haven’t done that by now, it ain’t gonna never happen. Now go on back.
I guess football is on my mind
That five foot nothin’ just got a touchdown but he’s got a whole lotta athletic ability!
I remember that when I started blogging, this was the only reason: my sweet darlings. All five of them. They don’t care a lick about SEO.
I hate blogging. But sometimes I love it too. Maybe that will be the next post. See? I have problems.